I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
