So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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