Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
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