we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
