marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
We need a shit load of segways right now
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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