Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
