I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
