And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
