Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
