How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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