Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
