drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
