apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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