i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Randomize
