You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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