Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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