Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
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