I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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