sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
