my being single is dangerous.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
