Me. At least after what I've been through.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize