Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
