honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Randomize
