The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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