I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
