What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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