I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize