I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
