I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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