you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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