Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
