yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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