i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
