I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
