HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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