What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
