i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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