I like my sex mixed with concussions.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
