I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Randomize
