a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
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