We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
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