Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
