Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
