I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
