I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
