In the future we'll all be gay
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
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