Someone shit on the floor
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
