bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
