there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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