walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
