I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
He better not be in your backpack
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
