I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Randomize
