Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
