There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
We need to rekindle our bromance
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Randomize
