i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Even my vagina gasped.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
