problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
