Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
