He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Randomize
