new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
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