Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
