Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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