Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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